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Yesterday I ate a can of alphabet soup and today I had the largest vowel movement ever.Q: Which song is known for inciting new-borns to altercate with with a small classical Greek string instrument vaguely similar to a small harp?A: “Come on baby fight my lyre”.Q. What’s covered in cling film and swings through the bell tower in a cathedral?A. The lunch pack of Notre Dame!A story from Reltney McFee New Joke Candidate.The Flood JokeThere was this guy, lived in New Orleans. The news announced that The! Big! Hurricane! Was on the way, and everybody ought to evacuate to higher ground, inland.The guy shrugged, and said, “I will trust in The Lord!”The storm approached closer, water was running in the streets. The police drove through, over their loudspeakers they warned everybody to pack up, get out, and get far inland and far uphill.The guy shrugged, and said, “I will trust in The Lord!”The water got higher. The fire department sent their engines through the neighborhoods. With the high. On her feet she wore laceless athletic shoes and ankle socks with red bows on them. But she took no notice of the subtle changes in her uniform. Instead, full of power she announced, “It’s time to turn up the heat, I’m the Crimson Spirit!”Almost immediately, she reeled from the stench of corruption in the room. There was dark unnatural energy everywhere. Her senses honed in on several of the Dark Trickster’s shades fucking now delightedly willing participants in the crowd. “You, get off of them now!”But her words fell on deaf ears. Instead professor Brewer’s hand came down on Lucy’s bottom with a jiggling slap. Her bottom was starting to turn a burning hot red as her brain lit up with endorphins, the world exploding in light and color. The Crimson Spirit gaped again at the sight, her eyes drawn to their torrid display.She tore her eyes away despite her own hyper awareness of a growing gnawing hunger in her body that she’d started with her own fingers.Instead, she gathered her anger.
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